chega de mediocridade. É hora de buscar excelência.

hoje

corri na adidas 4 estaçoes

comi um café reforçadíssimo com o thiago

fiquei na casa dele até umas 13

voltei pra casa e estudei ate umas 6

igreja ate as 8

8 hras- casa da sabrina churrasco

encontrei a sara e a lori de mina

sam, yong, daniel

falei com o yong haha conversa interessantissima. casos parecidos para ser bem suscinto.

what the hell am i doing

i think i got caught up trying to find someone that I forgot to enjoy life. if there´s anything good about all this was I got my joy back. party mode: so on!

guard your heart you idiot

holla chickos

bom, e ai pessual ~

isso ai, um sabado bem preguiscoso por enquanto... bem de leve meesmo...

bom realmente é estranho nao fazer nada durante o dia, nao ter oque fazer. nao gosto mto, mas acho q isso é necessario1

amanha vou prestar a unicamp e para falar a verdade não estou nenhum poquinho preparado. bom, fazer por experiencia mesmo né.

O primeiro passo é tentar né ?

i cant sleep and want some magic chicken

Sim sim sim, estou com vontade de comer magic chicken, e não é por que estou com fome. Pura gula? talvez, ou talvez seja gordura trans tanto usada que deixa a comida tão gostosa a ponto de eu estar ainda acordado às 11:30 pensando naquele franguinho e naquela polena. Hummmmmmmm É gula mesmo rs~ mas entanto, passei por aqui pois queria descarregar um pouco das minhas besteiras que andam romdando a minha mente. Sempre é bom ter algo para escreve odo o beserl que passa na sua cabeça. se vc não faz isso, vc acaba falando muita besteira para os seus amigos, que coitados são pois nem pagos eles estão sendo.

ser medico ou não ser, existe tal questão?

de uns dias para cá enho me deparando a diferentes maneiras de trabalhos. Uns, trabalham em loja, ouros como advogado, fisioterapeutas, e etc, e alguns no mercado financeiro, e a maioria de meus colegas estão já recebendo o dinheiro deles e planejando o futuro deles. Vou admitir algo, sinto um pouco de inveja deles. Quemnão quer ser financeiramene independente? quem nao quer dinheiro? Não sei quanto a você meu caro leitor nao existente, mas eu quero dinheiro. uero bastante dinheiro, mas algo em mim escolheu outra coisa ao inves do dinheiro. Escolhi quere ser médico no futuro. e serão no mínimo 7 anos até poder ganhar um tostãozinho. mas apesar de tudo isso, quero continuar. Pensei ate em largar isso e tentar já ganhar dinheiro, mas será q a felicidade está nesse caminho? eu creio q não e por mais que um dia possa ser rico fazendo outra coisa, creio q não me sentirei totalmente realizado se eu nao entrar em medicina. O porque disso, sinceramente nao sei, mas como diz a musica, "as coisas são como elas são".

25, and ready for the next 75 huhu!

Sight for sore eyes
29th May 2009
A procedure that's simple and cheap ...Dr Di Girolamo and Dr Watson
In a world-first breakthrough, University of New South Wales (UNSW) medical researchers have used stem cells cultured on a simple contact lens to restore sight to sufferers of blinding corneal disease.Sight was significantly improved within weeks of the procedure, which is simple, inexpensive and requires a minimal hospital stay.The research team from UNSW’s School of Medical Sciences harvested stem cells from patients’ own eyes to rehabilitate the damaged cornea. The stem cells were cultured on a common therapeutic contact lens which was then placed onto the damaged cornea for 10 days, during which the cells were able to re-colonise the damaged eye surface. While the novel procedure was used to rehabilitate damaged corneas, the researchers say it offers hope to people with a range of blinding eye conditions and could have applications in other organs.A paper detailing the breakthrough appears in the high-impact journal Transplantation this week.The trial was conducted on three patients; two with extensive corneal damage resulting from multiple surgeries to remove ocular melanomas, and one with the genetic eye condition aniridia. Other causes of cornea damage can include chemical or thermal burns, bacterial infection and chemotherapy.“The procedure is totally simple and cheap,” said lead author of the study, UNSW’s Dr Nick Di Girolamo. “Unlike other techniques, it requires no foreign human or animal products, only the patient’s own serum, and is completely non-invasive.The surgeon who carried out the procedure and managed the patients was UNSW senior lecturer, Dr Stephanie Watson."The operation is relatively non-invasive. The patient merely comes into the hospital for a couple of hours to have their eye prepared and the lens put in place, and then they're able to go home," she said.“There’s no suturing, there is no major operation: all that’s involved is harvesting a minute amount – less than a millimeter – of tissue from the ocular surface,” said Dr Di Girolamo.“If you’re going to be treating these sorts of diseases in third world countries all you need is the surgeon and a lab for cell culture. You don’t need any fancy equipment.”Because the procedure uses the patient’s own stem cells harvested from their eye, it is ideal for sufferers of unilateral eye disease. However, it also works in patients who have had both eyes damaged, Dr Di Girolamo said.“One of our patients had aniridia, a congenital condition affecting both eyes. In that case, instead of taking the stem cells from the other cornea, we took them from another part of the eye altogether – the conjunctiva – which also harbours stem cells. “The stem cells were able to change from the conjunctival phenotype to a corneal phenotype after we put them onto the cornea. That’s the beauty of stem cells,” Dr Di Girolamo said.The therapeutic contact lens used in the trial was of a type commonly used worldwide after ocular surface surgery. However, of the several brands on the market, only one was suitable for growing the stem cells.“We don’t know why. It’s probably to do with the components the manufacturers have used in that particular lens,” Dr Di Girolamo said. The researchers are hopeful the technique can be adapted for use in other parts of the eye, such as the retina, and even in other organs. “If we can do this procedure in the eye, I don’t see why it wouldn’t work in other major organs such as the skin, which behaves in a very similar way to the cornea,” Dr Di Girolamo said.View the video on the procedure. Media contact: Steve Offner, UNSW Media Office 02 9385 8107

at least in my life, I can say that my parents are a proof that God exists.
Thank you God, Thank you, thank you and thank you.

Eventhough Brazil may far be from perfect, if I stay here, I will be miserable.

NEWSPAPER RESPONSE PAPERS: (5 %)

You are required to submit TWO response papers – ONE per semester – on newspaper articles of your choosing related to ONE religion studied in THAT semester. These are due at the final lecture in the fall semester and winter semester respectively. Each response paper must be between 1 and 2 pages in length, typewritten, double-spaced and using Times New Roman 12 font.

Your response paper should follow the structure and guidelines as outlined below:

Title of Article ________ Student Name _______ Date of Article ___________ Tutorial Number __________ Source of Article ______________

[Recommended newspapers : Toronto Star, Globe and Mail, National Post, New York Times, Washington Post, Christian Science Monitor (you may use on-line articles from any of these papers).]

Consider several of the following points and questions when writing your response papers:

• With specific reference to the article note the religion being discussed, the issue(s) and main points.
• Identify which of the following aspects of the study of religion the article is discussing: ritual, symbol, institutions, myths, leadership, gender, nationalism etc.
• Explain why you agree/disagree with the perspective/opinion of the writer.
• What have you learned from this article?
• What is your opinion of the article?
• In what ways is this issue(s) relevant/not relevant to a further understanding of the religion?
• Are there any errors in this article regarding the religion?

http://scholar.google.ca/scholar?q=ethics+in+neuromarketing&hl=en&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&hs=nuD&um=1&ie=UTF-8&oi=scholart

lots in my head

so much going on in my head, a lot of struggles, doubts, pre occupations, realizations....


i struggle wiht the fact that my mom do not trust in me,and at many times i think she doesnt trust me she doesnt think I am capable of, and this all seem like an unending process where she wants more and more and no matter what I do, she will always want more and never trust that I can do more.

so my attitude shouldbe o think that she always worry i have to detach myself from her thought process because or else Ill be forever trapped on herown cycle. let alone i have my own vicious cycles, i shouldnt get caught in hers. if that makes any sense at all?

I am an optimist about Brazil. It will be all good and I will become a doctor there, even if I just make the poverty line there. even if I live with very little. if I earn very little. im gonna stay there, stick there.

Canada. i dont think I'll ever wanna cme back here. not even for vacation. I appreciate everything I've experienced here, but I have no reason and no motivation to come back here.

I am glad to go back because i am not happy here.hehe ask my xanga. i dont think i'll find happiness back in brazil but I am sure that days will be better there.

Ethics

SEARCH

DANA FOUNDATION - NEUROETHICS MAPPING THE FIELD

summary of 4 areas.

Fact

Fact: i don't like myself at my current moment.

i dont like what I am doing


Action: I will change and avoid things that makes me not like myself

such as flirting with those cannot be flirted with
eating at late night times

Matemática

• Física

  
  

• Química

  
  

• Biologia

• Português

• 
  

• História

  Geografia

• Inglês

Abortion

Judaism - Orthodox perspecitve

Christianism - Presybterian and Catholic perspectives



Contraceptive use

Judaism - Orthodox, Conservatives, Reformist perspectives

Christianity - catholicism

Therefore I need more research on

1 - Christianity and Contraceptive use_ catholics
2 - Judaism Conservative, and reformist perspectives on - abortion

christianity and Abortion

http://www.jstor.org/stable/2172010?cookieSet=1

Rachel's daughters By Debra R. Kaufman

pg 95 chapter 4


http://books.google.ca/books?hl=en&lr=&id=W6LjUYh21jUC&oi=fnd&pg=PR13&dq=orthodox,+conservative,+reform+jewish+and+abortion&ots=fs-28yzgtt&sig=mPh4vTpX0C5gUt_NO3Jl_KebVqw#PPA96,M1

Women, birth, and death in Jewish law and practice
By Rochelle L. Millen

http://books.google.ca/books?id=-68Bc1udefEC&pg=PA26&source=gbs_toc_r&cad=0_0#PPA26,M1
Orthodox Judaism
Contraceptive use is prohibited; except in cases where pregnancy could pose some threat to the life of the mother (p33)
Conservative perspective
Bokser certain cases the
Despite the urges of having large families, there were cases where it was morally correct to limit pregnancy. Another reason - perilous condition facing the communities - for example the holocaust. Overpopulation is no reason to justify the use of contraceptives or other birth control methods
Isaac Klein pg 37
Economic hardships are acceptable reasons to use birth control. Contraceptive use is only prohibited if it goes against the law of “be fertile and increase”. Overpopulation is a concern for Isaac Klein and according to him birth control are authentic methods . Preferred method – the pill

Reformist perspective
Pg38

funny how I always come back to the question of who am I. I thought that by now I'd know better, but i dont think i am any more knowledgeable than I was a few years ago. I sure did experience quite a bit, saw a few things here and there, but the question does not seem to dissapear. I still don't fully understand who I am, what should I do, what do I really want..
*sighs, back to point zero I guess.

I have to find out what I am really made of, what I really want. what makes sense and whats authentic to me.

Rules are Rules: children and Adults

In the year 1995, 20 kids from the communities of Verdugo and Vaquero and who part of the little league all star team of the Southern California participated in a tournament organized by the non profit Tim Herman Foundation which is organized for 9 year old ball player who had died of a heart condition last year. This ball tournament was meant to to raise money for the communities and to honor the memory of a Local child who had a heart condion and died on the year of 1994.

However, their participation have disqualified them to be able to play to the upcoming district competition. For the Regulation IV stipulated that no more than six players from a little league tounament team "may participate on other teams except authorized elementary and junior high school teams", and therefore the punishment. In response to this, an appeal was made based on the fact that their participation on that tournament was meant to benefit the local community. Nevertheless, the appeal was denied and the decision was maintained. With the decision unchanged, both teams had decided to withdrawal their teams from the games.


__________________________________________

in order to assess whether the little leaguers shoudl have been pushinesd or not, I will use the deontological perspective and teleological perspective in order assess teh decisions made by the Headquarters of the little league. Deontologically speaking, one should proceed according to the rules that are imposed by society or organizattion that one is affiliated with, and in this occasion, the players were associated and under the rules of the Minor League. Therefore, from this perspective, the Little League Headquarted was right to act upon this violation, for it was stated under the regulation IV that no more than six players from a little league tournament team "may participate on another team except authorized elementary and junior high school". However, this rule does not clarify what kinds of punishment should be enacted and who should be punished. It must be highlighted that the players are under age and are not considered adults, and specially in this circumstances, they might not have been aware of these pontential harms that they were going to suffer by playing in that fundraising event. Therefore I believe it was not right for the Little league headquarters to punish the kids for having participated in that event. If one were te be penalized, it should have been the coaches or the club, for they are the ones responsibles.

However, I must say that it was right of the Minor League baseball association act onto the violation, for they have infriged the rules, and when one breaks the rules and it goes unpunished, the tendency, according to hobbes, is that humans will follow the trend and the egotistical and brutish nature of human beings will take the best of the situation, and chaoes will be set. It is better to inforce the rules so harmony and a better flow of things can be attained.


Also, even if the nature of the action, in this case the participation of these little leagues players in the benefit tournament, was good, it doesnt mean it was fair. The regulation set by the league, was designed to keep the competition levels more leveled by not allowng some players to ain an unfair advantage by joining other teams and gaining more experience, and considering that all the other teams besides verdugo and vaquero were under this rule, whethere the tournament was only for fun, for charity, or for a good cause, it does not change the fact that these kids have gained more experience as a teeam, while others, because of this specific rule, were not able to join any other competion and gain some more exposure to competion.

From the lens of teleology, Mill's argued that decision should be taken in order to maximize pleasure and minimize pain. In other words, decisions should be made in order to attain thet greatest benefit for the majority. In this case, the question is whethere the decision of banning the players from playing the year had actually created the greatest good for the majority. I believe that by punishing the players the little league have harmed the players a great deal. First of all, in terms of competition, the fact that they infringed one rule which was to not allow them to play and gain an unfair advantage of others, does not justify the kind of punishment applie. If players are banned to play for the entire season, then they would fall much far behind thant all the other players, by a much greater extent than they had gained advantage by playing in the fund raising tournament. Second, some of the players were in their last year of elligibility of playing at the little league baseball. That specefic year could had been crucial for some playersto gain exposure or for future prospects in their baseball career prospects. Third, the punishment would go beyond the players. It would hurt the parents aswell, for they had invested money, time, and effort in order to train and have the kids to have a chance to play baseball. fourth, this would also hurt the image of little league association. The association that punishes players of trying to give back to the community and support a good cause is definetly not the image the association would want to have. As a matter of fact, comments, and the tones of the articles form LA times, portrayed the tone of dissapointment of the media with the decisio of the Little League association. In the article by David E Brady, majority of article exposes favorable arguments for the participation of the players in the fund raising tournament and opposing arguments and facts for the pusnihsment imposed by the Little league baseball association. For example, the article presents argumetns from coaches and tim hermans father saying that the league was only meant for kids to have fun, and were intended to "highlight children as gifts". It even exposes arugments saying that this decision was the result of personal conflict between the head of the little league baseball and the two coaches who had clashes before this incident.

also for the kids, the punishement shouldn't have been acted upon them it would be punishing a good behavior, a good act that kids were doing, and as a consequence, doing good things such as getting back to your communities would be negatively associated with punishment, and if humans are selfish by nature according to hobbes, this punishment would only feed the egoism and selfishness of those kids. If anything, the little league should encourage such behaviour for it would encourage all the other little league teams to contribute to their own communities, thus contributing to the greater good.

church and gay -

I had a question today while we were discussing judaism and homsexuality in my tutorial. Yes, I was actually able to process things and in fact, i came to a few good conclusions about christianity, anitsemtisim and judaism. but anyways, I am getting away from my topic. My question was " why would homesexuals and lesbians want to belong to a church, a mosque, or a synaguogue when the very foundation of these religions abominates their exisitence? "

My question actually raised some eye brows, im guessing of dissaproval, and a guy actually said " omg" ... well, I really did not intend to offend anyone, but i am actually very curious as to why would someone gay want to belong to a religion institute that is against their sexual identity.

and upon some reflection i think these are some of the few reasons that a gay person should/would want to be part of these religious insititutions.

1) religion and society are intermeshed. Religion has deep roots in the values of society, so if you want to change a society, you also have to tackle the religious beliefes. The consitituions, laws and the media are also important in the process of changing the values of a country. However, religion has a deep influence in our systems of beliefes and values, so to a gay person to be fully accepted in a society, there has to be a culture where the gay is acceptable.

quotes

Aristotle - "the unexamined life is not worth living"


Rousseau - " to be governed by appetite alone is slavery while obedience to law one prescribes to oneself is freedom"

am not

I am not feeling it. Feeling what you may ask. I dont feel like studying. procrastinationis is a symptom of lackof confidencein oneself. Trust yourself, you can do it, go study and kill the exam!

change

I believe in change. I believe one can change oneself; However, I also believe I cannot change others. I can influence them, but I cannot change them. Change comes from within, for only a change that comes from self empowerment lasts. Otherwise, It's not change, its just a band-aid. Change can only change if ti starts within us. I believe that all we can do is to influence, make our difference, but to expect to change with our power, it's like trying to change someone, It doesnt work. What you can do is to influence that person, that's all you should expect you should expect that your attitudes may influence someone, but change, starts with the person. Change start within the person, within the government, within the people.

I feel sad

I feel empty and sad guys.......why is that?

respect

you are what you

eat

read

think

study

do

we are definetly in trouble :(

problems problems problems...

man if you read the economist, the news, and any sort of media out there, one thing you can find in common and in a lot of number is the amount of problems that exist in this world. From global warming, pakistan wars, extremism, racism, recesssions, corruption in governments, strikes, and etc. it's countless the amount of bad news and problems out there, and in the midst of all this cloudiness, its hard to be/stay positive. It's hard to see how much difference you can make in this world :(

ok some quotes that are worth mentioning

"Extracting enough gold to make a typical wedding ring, for example, can generate three tonnes of mining waste." - the economis

i have to write in order to improve

yes, eventhough i dotn have much to write or to blog about i will write because i have to improve evetually.I am just finishing reading the course kit from my religion course. I am reading a bunch of tails - japanese tails - and they are qyuite interesting. However, i dont understand the "hidden" or what they are trying to convey. i guess its a different world, different culture and different values :)


yes i am not inspired to write. I actually got an opportunity in brazil to volunteer for a doctor. He's the head of the nephrology department of a hospital and the doctor who took care of my mom for almost 18 years. I am actually scared because I suck I definetly suck at doing things and have no experience at all. I feel like I've been living off my parents through out my entire life and everythign I get is from them and nothing that i get is from me. this saddens me a lot because I want to things on my own, i want to fight for things and get them.

but, on the other hand I believe that you dont do anything alone, you need help, your life is nto a one man show. There is help needed, we need help, and people will help you and you have to accept it :) I guess thats the rule of life, receive and give, and give and receive.

well nothing to say, eventhough i wish i had something to blog on.

all heart

I am an all heart person and zero skill person. In my head, I would save the world if I could, I would make a difference if I could, but for that I would need skill, which i dont have. BU tI still have hope I will have somekind of skill... thats why I am still going thats why i keep going. I am gonna get there one day..

what kind of person should I be, what kind of character and values should i strive for.

1- persevere
2-self control
3-think twice before you say anything.
4-not to run away
5- be positive
6- to be diligent and always face the fight.
7-to be patient
8- to have a cool head
9- to be open to opinions

if you're sad, you're probably:

1) tired or
2) hungry

so next time instead of going on pondering about life and making a huge drama about what you should have done, whats missing and all that gibberish, just go to sleep. Take a shower, eat and pass out because its always a better day when you wake up rested and energized :)


and the trick is to keep going and never stopping.

enough of running away. I am going to stay and fight until i get in, until I become. I will not run away, not again.

friday

I just talked to jeff yesterday and heard a lot of good stories about kroea. It made me wanna go somewhere else again... Perhaps for my medschool is should move out again.. start from scratch again, get out of my confort zone, improve myself, be a stand up person..

dang dont know whats gonna happen - why i do all this and etc...

anyways, gotta stop blabbering and study again..


Peaace!!

15 min update

ok I just found out that I killed the Nutrition exam - YES, I have literally destroyed it. I guess, all that hours paid off. I felt pretty great about that.
besides that, I am finding myself really tired lately - as to why? i dont really know - perhaps is lack of aerobic exercise? hummm i dont know..

talking real

i am not sharing this blog with anyone but myself because I think that when You do share your thoughts, there is a risk that you owill not fully expose yourself. There is an invisible pressure, desire whatever you may call, to please others, to conform with the status quo, to not go against the flow. For this reason, I will keep my blog as virgin as possible. Eventually I'll share it but by then, I'll have nothing else to lose.

anyone can but most of us don't

I was just walking by a store one day and I saw one of those calendars with sayings and quotes. But interestinlgy, this one was different. Instead of those positive afirmative sayings this one would have very sad ones. At least I would say they were sad, and one of the saying on the first page was "Not everyone gets to become an austraunat". I kinda stopped at that moment and thought for a bit, and yes it is true what this saying is trying to convey. Not everyone make it eventhough we are taught we all can do it. Yes, we all can, but not everyone does, and thats okay. Making it to the top, achieving yor dream is not a requirement to be a happy person.

the biggest pleasures in life are found in small things :)

1. Stop worrying and regreting. Hold the moment, make use of your opportunities.
2. have a good relationship with your parents.
3. have enough to live, survive and eat with some friends :)
4. Learn - never stop learning
5. have friends around you and be nice to them :)
6. Do your best :)
7. Listen to some good music
8. Exercise. Go for a jog, work out, rock climb, snowboards,
9. play sports :)
10. choose a good team to cheer for - not the leafs, blue jays, or the raptors -
11. meet someone new today
12. learn an instrument -
13. wash your car. it will feel pretty good afterwards - same for room, house, washroom
14. take a hot shower during the cold winter
15. go swimming when its summer
16. Love someone, like someone
17. kiss, hug, smile :)
18.wake up early in the morning
19. read a good book
20. forgive others and yourself.
21. Travel :)
22. and again, carpe diem, seize the opportunity, make the best of every opportunity :)
23. help others ;)
24. thank God for everything, always.

when i think life,it makes me wonder, makes me think, why. where and how should we live it? who will I be, will I matter, does it matter? at times everything looks like an illusion, it feels as though we're running after an illusion. All our dreams, wills, memories, were they are they all mere illusions? things seem really blurred and surreal right now.. perhaps thats why i like abstract paintings... everything is beautiful but yet so unreal...

attaining knowledge

I've decided for myself that my goal will be to obtain knowledge and not to run after money. I hope knowledge will help me obtain wealthiness, but money will not be my goal.


I just hope I wont be a pinhead with thick pockets. Pin heads and thick pockets dont really do that well, examples? just open your gossip magazine and you'll probably find many of them.

what have I learned so far this year

I was sitting in the washroom while taking a dump - yes, thats my throne of enlightnenment - and was thinking of writting a post about things that I have learned today. Nevertheless, as I finished doing business as usual and was walking out of the holysite, the inspiration was gone. Why should I write about my eurekas moments ? It wont make any difference in the end, will it? but if I think this way, nothing really makes sense, and nothing really wil. I wish Salomon was wrong, but everytime i think about things, i realise that everything is meaningless, and a lot of things are just vanity.

But anyways, this year i've realised that it is important to vote, and the person that you vote can really change the status quo. Of course I am talking about Obama. Look at what he is doing for example; Just so far he has approved bills that demanded the closure of that guantanamo bay prision, bills that promotes a greener enviroment, a just yesterday, he has whipped the asses of those wall street greety effers. Imagine, How would things be done if it was Mc Cain in power? Probably not very different. So back to my point, it really matters who you vote for.

I have more things In mind, but perhaps I'll post them later.

If I had seven lives,

Since i was really young, I've always heard that cats have seven lives, and to be honet with yah, I always thought this was just gibberish. However, these days, I've allowed myself dream into the idea of having seven lives. What would I do if I knew I would have seven lives ? - I asked myself. My answer was,

On my first life, I would be a surfer - I would live in the beach, wake up every single morning and surf the entire day!

On my second life, I would be an athlete. I would train hard since I am really young at a sport - i am thinking soccer - to try to become a top athlete and enjoy life playing soccer.

My third life I would venture myself to become a pilot. A rally race car driver to be more specific. Imagine how fun and thrilling would be to be a racer?

on my fourth life, I would be a world traveler. I would live to travel the whole world. The americas, asia, africa, europe, all the world! i would be a restless wanderer and live untill my eyes were satisfied.

on my fifth life, I would dedicate myself to music. I would learn an intrument and immerse myself into the art of making music. I would wanna be in a band! the kind of a band i dont really knwo but I 'd wanna be in one :)

And for my sixth life, to be very honest, I wouldnt really know what to do anymore. I would probably have figured out by then.

The last year I would probably do whatever I enjoyed the most on my previous lives.


It is an interesting thought experience to imagine yourself as having 7 lives. It makes everything that we pursue, or at least many of the things, meaningless. Why would I wanna become sucessful, or rich, waste the time suffering on something when I know I would have another life?

Perhaps people suffer because they think they have only one life. (do we only have one life? says who?) - perhaps if we had another lives, thigns wouldnt be so stressful. We wouldnt care so much with things that we care right now. I think we would be more relaxed and enjoy more. For we would have so many other years anyways, wouldnt we?

lately i've been finding myself thinking too nagatively about myself. Too often I see that I cannot do anything and am no good at anything. It is easy to fall into these thought pattern specially at times where you have not much to do, but at heses times is also when the greates realizations come by, well at least for me.

While I was struggling with my mind with this issue, I had to ask one of those hard questions. Have I tried hard enough?

I stop and think, and my conclusion is that I didnt.

I realize the unrationality of this mentality. How oculd I ever be good at something if I havent really tried? why am I bothering to think I am not good at something if I am not doing anything to improve?

One is good at something not only because he tried, but also because he persisted.

I cannot sleep, I cannot talk, i cannot voice myself, i cannot write, I feel crippled as to what I am capable of doing here. Things again seem so much bigger and unreachable ~ ahh i wish sleeping was just like a matter of switching myself on and off... why is it so hard to sleep at times?

The Analects of Confucius

Confucius said,

" if you set your mind on humanity, you will be free from evil"

Tzuchang asked confucius about humaniy.

Confucius said

"One who can practice five things wherever he at be us a man of humanity"

Tzu chang asked what the five are.

Confucius said,

"Earnestness, liberality, Truthfulness, dilligence, and generosity, If one is earnest one will not be treated with disrespect. If one is liberal one will win the heart of all.If one is truthful, one will one will be trusted. If one is diligent one will be sucessful. And if one is gnerous one will be able to enjoy the service of others"

Jesus, Confucious, Buddha and Plato

Has anyone stopped to think why these people of supposed great wisdom, who are usually venerated by many, has never really written a book or left their teaching in writting?

Confucius

"Amidst the four seas all men are brothers"

"The analects of Confucius"

Chi Lu asked how the spirits of the dead and the gods should be served.The Master said,

'You are not able even to serve man. How can you serve the sppirits?'

"May I ask about death?"

"You do not understand evne life. How can you understand death?"

my people, my home

people, friends and family, are like homes given by God, the more you invest on them the more confortable it gets. You only get what you can manage, if you go too overboard, your "home"may start getting rusty and dirty for it is too much to manage, but if your home fits you, it will be a clean and healthy enviroment. As they say, "less is more", and it fits ver weel this picture, the less friends you have, the more you can get from each of them. It's a trade off i believe. you can get a lot of friends but only have a superficial relationship with them, or you can limit yourself to only a certain amount of people and get to know them in a deeper level.

"get yourself toguether" - U2

You have to work within, before work out We need to be organized inside in our brains , only then we will be organized in what we do, only then our surrounding will be so.

Perhaps all the chaos we see may just be a tip of the chaotic minds of the people.

however, the problems is that when it comes to mind matters, self matters, what is it that is considered "organized" or "ideal" ? This is a hard question with perhaps no right answers, it maybe something one has to answer to himself.

(To be edited)

After a few hours of unsuccessful attempts of studying, I decided to pump some caffeine into my system, and as expected, it was much easier to read sentences without letting wandering thoughts control my mind. I wonder if I became a life-time caffeine-addict, I wonder if many are under the same influence of this magical drink.

And thanks to this miraculous beverage, the mcat biology section was finally finished, and my next plan is to take over the chemistry section. it will be a wild, hard fought and fun ride. Aja Aja I can do this!

My friend Laura is leaving today as well. I must admit that I could have had more memories with her here, but what we experienced was enought to leave good thoughts in my memories.
Her stay here will remain here cherished with nostalgic thoughts and smiles.

reflecting

Thinking back 4th year, I've just realized how at times your soul feels alone no matter how many people are around your. Perhaps, this happens just so we realize how the company of that special person is really special.

Right now today I feel free and safe on a way where there is no turning back. Yes, I am admitting that there is no turning back Life is fresh , the experience is new and all I can be about the future is to be optimistic. Things will be great, i will see, feel, learn, touch, hear many different things, I can sense it!

"Knowledge is Necessity. Change starts with knowledge. I can't emphasize this enough."

what do I really want

Goals, school, homeworks, essays, work, are all good things, we aim to reach the best, to perform the best, to attain the most, to have a better job, have a better car, have more money and etc, but are these all what we really want?

I'm starting to suspect that I never really wanted these things. Maybe, that's what society, people, tv, you name the devil, imposed that on us.

And if I try to think about what I really really want, i start to have some problems, because I really don't know.

Goals

It's been fairly well known to me that I want to get in shape, get into med school, be a beter person, get a ver nice and good looking girl, have a nice car, help others, and be great, however one thing i still struggle with, one question that keeps coming back, is the one of meaning. The meaning of all things, of why we do things, for what reason do we want all these things. THere are things I cannot understand in myself, this drive, this struggle for greatness, the desire for love, health, and kindess. I cant seem to get it.

Perhaps I shouldnt worry so much about why, and really start embracig all these drives and causes.

"studying"

I'm here at the library because I had to finish my essay on the comparisons between hindu women and buddhist women. YEs, the very same one i had to hand it in on november, but anyways...

One thing I've read today, just flipping through books, news papers and etc, is that we should keep our goals very short. It's easier to reach a few goals thant try to do so many at once, so I just decided to keep it short for 09. I will only focus on studying well to get my greatest grades ever, on eating properly, and exercising very, very intensively.

i have other stuff that I should improve on and those are: on communication with my parents, communicating with my cousin and grandma, and with my friends,

I have to also improve on saying the words thank you and please more frequently. It is the biggest sins of our time, we don't say them enough.

Also, i see a need for me to socialize more, and for this reason I will be more sociable this year. I will meet a quota of 10 new people each month for the rest of the year.

(how do I do that? should I go after people or connect people? as I once heard, "make the opportunity happen, dont just wait for it to come along" - perhaps I should really make it happen - I think that is the reason I am unwilling to change churches. Changing churches doesnt change myself, but changing myself may very well change the church =)

testing

just checking if the blog is working - new post coming very soon

montreal

hello my dear blogger,

I'm currently at montreal at the hilton garden inn. I came here with my parents through a korean traveling agency, and it actually feels as though i am in korea since everyone else is korean, including our guide. besides the pain I feel bc of my injury, thngs have been chillin. Mntreal is definetly a nice looking city and i definetly wanna come back during the summer -

I have got great expectations for 09. It will be a great year. I will make it a great year.