lots in my head

so much going on in my head, a lot of struggles, doubts, pre occupations, realizations....


i struggle wiht the fact that my mom do not trust in me,and at many times i think she doesnt trust me she doesnt think I am capable of, and this all seem like an unending process where she wants more and more and no matter what I do, she will always want more and never trust that I can do more.

so my attitude shouldbe o think that she always worry i have to detach myself from her thought process because or else Ill be forever trapped on herown cycle. let alone i have my own vicious cycles, i shouldnt get caught in hers. if that makes any sense at all?

I am an optimist about Brazil. It will be all good and I will become a doctor there, even if I just make the poverty line there. even if I live with very little. if I earn very little. im gonna stay there, stick there.

Canada. i dont think I'll ever wanna cme back here. not even for vacation. I appreciate everything I've experienced here, but I have no reason and no motivation to come back here.

I am glad to go back because i am not happy here.hehe ask my xanga. i dont think i'll find happiness back in brazil but I am sure that days will be better there.